Enjoying life with a tinge of self-centredness?

I wonder if I would want to stay in the same phase of life till the day I breathe my last breath. I mean, if I’m truly happy, why would I want to move on to an unfamiliar place? Sure, there’s a 50% chance of me being happier. But there is the other 50% chance of facing struggles and disappointments.

This morning, I was greeted with Kim Walker’s spontaneous line, “You are my God.” That made me realise something. God is MY God. He’s mine. I belong to Him and no one else. Life is about taking steps forward; it is about moving in that direction when you feel Him lead you. It is not about glancing behind your shoulder when you’re physically moving forward.

This year has been a slight change for me. It is not just about being a first-year university student. It is about the different paths that I chose. With those paths came blessings and struggles.

I love my group of friends now. I feel comfortable around them because we all possess the same beliefs. I find it easier to be the individual that I am, and not having to worry whether my values would be contested by the people around me. As each day passes, I find myself not worrying about actions of other people and how it could lead them astray.

Then, it hit me this morning. What happened to those friends that I used to pray for? I am enjoying myself so much that I forget that as the different “church girl” in my past peers, I still have to care for them. A couple of days ago, I caught up with two of my closer friends in the past, and to my dismay, they don’t know why they exist anymore. They are so lost and confused, seeking avenues to escape from their troubled lives. They resort to the things against they once thought they believed in. They know that certain things would not give them permanent solutions, but if those things offer them temporary relief, they suppose that temporary is better than nothing at all.

It breaks my heart to watch them make difficult choices that would only worsen their conditions. I could only reprimand when I can, but I have no right to tell them what to do.

Instead of focusing of having fun for my own benefit, I think it is time for me to take up that role again. Being Christ-like demands selflessness, there is no escaping to that. When I move forward in life, I want to take people with me. I want them to feel as blessed as I am.

So, selflessness it shall be.