Random thoughts?..

I’ve been thinking a lot for the past few days. Yes, I do think... I’m smarter than I look :P

Okay, I don’t want to seem as though I’m deriving for sympathy and stuff. It’s just stuff that I’ve been thinking about lately.

What would’ve happened if I had never moved?

If I had never moved, I wouldn’t be able to know how it feels like to be lonely without any friends to hang out with. If I had never moved, I would never be able to experience what adjustment truly means.

Yeah, I love life here. It’s a whole new change for me; it’s being in a new world, learning a new culture. First few months of school were horrid. My family and I were pushed out of our comfort zone, not knowing what to do or who to even turn to. Nothing seemed constant; it took us about half a year to attend a church that we were truly comfortable with.

Yes, I love my life now with all my heart. I have fun with friends here; there’s many times where I would laugh till my stomach hurt. But when I hear the stories from my Malaysian friends, I feel like I’m missing out on life? My friends here are in a way, established. They grew up in this environment; they seem to know what they’re doing. When I see them having fun with their fellow friends, I feel a little excluded because I know I had not been here for years. I could only sit back, watch them enjoying every minute together while I thought of the fun that I used to have. I remember the days where a bunch of us YC Leaders would go ‘mamak’ in between church services, combining tables and being the loudest group – ever, and enjoying each other’s company to the max. Gosh, those were the good times... :)

Life is fun here, but it’s just that nothing can beat what you had before?..

Sometimes I find myself reminiscing on the old days and yes, there are days where I still long to be with my friends and have a time of my life with them. But I know that I chose this path and I might as well just live it to the fullest?
Looking back, I had learnt so much just by this move. I had to ‘be brave’ and let the past relationships that I held so close go. My faith and beliefs had been tested numerous occasions. Many things are not constant in life and we are all bound to go through changes. I can’t stop the changes in life, but I can definitely go along with the flow and be the person God had in mind.

Starting all over again isn’t the easiest thing to do... But it’s worthwhile if you think about it :)